Today I want to talk about the Engagement Ring Issue.
Lately, I have heard and read many young women discussing whether or not they are “the diamond type.” The first thing I thought of when this came up was Breakfast at Tiffany’s where Holly Golightly says that diamonds are wonderful “for women over forty.”
Is that was this is about? Do women feel they are “too young” for diamonds??
I can see this from both perspectives.
On the one hand, I think it is wonderful not to be materialistic. Precious stones, especially diamonds, cost a lot of money. It’s important to be happy on the inside whether or not we have luxuries on the outside.
On the other hand, marriage is a BIG DEAL.
If a pair of lovers are planning on yoking their lives together to become one “til death do us part,” any number of hoops to jump through first will help to solidify their bond and test the depth of their commitment. By buying an expensive ring, a man is not necessarily saying he things flashy jewelry is important. He is saying, I will make sacrifices for the good of our union!
By wearing it, a young lady is not necessarily saying she is a prissy girly girl or a high maintenance superficilaist. She may just be saying, I’ve made a brave commitment, and I am proud of the successful efforts of my partner.
I also want to question what it is about a precious stone that makes today’s young brides uncomfortable. Soemthing tells me it may have to do with poor self-esteem. If these girls have grown up in a self culture in which 15 year old girls get breast implants and many people are struggling to provide for their families because of the economy, they may truly feel like they don’t deserve such a special ring.
They might look in the mirror and say, that’s not a princess. That’s not a grown up woman. That’s a sad excuse for an adult.
I only say this because I’ve heard similar sentiments from many millenials. It makes me sad.
So here is my point: Young ladies, before you turn down the precious engagement ring, give it some serious thought. Picture to yourself what a WOMAN looks like! The kind of woman you respect. Then ask yourself, if she looks different than me, what is that about? Can we meet halfway? Picture the ideal woman as being a bit more like you while you take definite but manageable steps to be the best version of your unique and wonderful self.
Maybe you CAN wear that ring, even if your a decade away from forty. Maybe its not so crazy to make a big material investment at the same time as a big emotional and spiritual one. But that’s just me.
As long as you’re happy, honey. As long as you give yourself a big hug and thank your creator. Everything will be just fine. 🙂